And this team stinks.  Bourjos is better than I thought he’d be.  Poor Bobby Abreu, this is no way to end a career like his.

I will forgive you for missing a quarter of the certainty…

That certainty is that the Red Sox will always find a way to beat the Angels.

I wonder if someone on the Angels regrets trading Napoli to keep Mathis and Wells…

Townie fans not very fond of Wake or Lackey.  A lot of FUs on BTF.  He makes about the same as AJ and may be even worse cept against us.

Wow, Wells’s line. Wow.

[5] Wells for Napoli…

[6] Totally forgot Rivera was in that deal also. What a steal.

[3] When Texas wins the West, will anyone call out Mike “Genius” Scioscia for this incredibly stupid move?

Mel Brooks and Dick Cavett on HBO just talking.

Ok boys. I’m embedded in enemy territory flying the colors, and the girl, who’s a dodger fan, has informed me she’s rooting for the Halos out of SoCal loyalty. There coul be a breakup by the seventh. I’ll keep you posted.

[10] You can’t root for the Dodgers and the Angels. Tell her she is wrong and get rid of her now.

*Disclaimer* You should probably not listen to the second part of that advice.

and the girl, who’s a dodger fan, has informed me she’s rooting for the Halos out of SoCal loyalty. There coul be a breakup by the seventh. I’ll keep you posted.

You know how stadiums always show some guy proposing to his girlfriend on the big screen in between innings?  Maybe you can get them to film your breakup.

I told her that shit doesn’t fly. She’s choosing to ignore me, as per usual.

[11] That disclaimer should come in really small print. Mel Hall will log in momentarily and will advise you of the appropriate size.

Also, let’s be honest NorCal is superior, despite my liking of LA and San Diego’s general pleasantness.

Yankees looking potent.

Wait, was there even a top of the first inning?  Or did the Yankees just tell the Angels to start the game with the bottom of the first?

Well by the way this game is going, this will quickly become a drunk blog. Prepare to enjoy.

Hmm, Kay and Leiter calling the game from a traffic ‘copter, apparently.

ARod!

Stab him Jeter. Stab him with a knife.

Baseball would be more interesting if each gang were allowed to bring other weapons aside from bats.

Baseball would also be more interesting if Bill the Butcher were a manager. How long do you think it would take him to try to murder Showalter? 1:30?

Colon!

Is anybody else here? Oh right, it’s Friday. Other people do shit on Fridays.

If nothing else, the Yankees getting no hit for four straight games should make for an interesting next four days.

[26] I would say that I can’t drunk blog that long. But sadly, I know that I can.

Pace yourself.

[11] Pick the fight, have the makeup sex, then walk out and never call her again.

Oh wait, Dodger fan ? Shit man, they’re crazy. Don’t mess with her, just fake your own death.

Can Jesus control the Angels?

[29] No, you want to know crazy? Chicks that aren’t really baseball fans, but insist on rooting for the random team they decided to like that night. Every baseball game I went to ended with bruises.

[30] Jesus can do anything. As we will see shortly.

[32] This statement is still going to be true.

This drunk blog will be followed up by some sort of running workout tomorrow. Hope for a short game.

Coloon!

Is Wells close to a position player equivalent of AJ? i.e highly paid, great “raw talent”, little results?

[36] AJ has some recent success, Wells hasn’t been good in like 5 years. So no.

The Jesus!

Our Lord and Savior!

Jesus once again leads his flock.

Holy Jesus! He got a hold of that!

Jesus Montero superstar who in the hell do you think you are

I knew he’d crush one of those balls he’s been pulling down the right side eventually.

[42] I don’t know how to love him. We’ll let Schteeve handle it.

He takes the name, but not in vain—Jee-Zuz

I missed the rest of that inning in celebratory drinks. Who cares? Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

MLB.tv refuses to load.  Anyone else have this problem?  Does this happen often?  Just subscribed for the last month.

Jesus’ stance reminds me a lot of Victor Martinez.

[47] I’ve been issue free all year, more or less, except when I tried to login with the wrong account.

Colooon!

Remember when Jeff Mathis was destroying the ‘09 Yankees in the ALCS? That was NOT funny.

MLB.tv refuses to load.  Anyone else have this problem?  Does this happen often?  Just subscribed for the last month.

I use it a lot for work and when that happens, I clear my cache and restart it.  Seems to do the trick.  The whole program has a ton of problems and it doesn’t seem like MLB has any intention of fixing them.

But hey, who needs Napoli when you have JEFF MATHIS?

How does Mathis still have a job after 5 years of suck?

[47] It works great on the computer. Apps on BR players is the suck. Absolutely did not function and crashed every single player for the first 6 weeks of the season. Since then, they increased the buffer so you’re only about 8 pitches behind live action. Fewer crashes, but decidedly off-putting when you are also following along with GD to see where pitches are, upcoming batters, etc.

Jesus has struck with great vengeance and furious anger. Angels beware.

Slightly buzzed wisdom: I need more of a life so I’m not on RLYW on a Friday night. No offense everyone else.

[57] Actually Hell with it, you all have no life too. That’s right, I said it.

Not only is Teixeira struggling with BAbip this season, but he hits screaming line drives that just go foul.

I think it’s important to note that Jesus not only stopped the shutout, he also prevented the no-hitter. MVP.

Teixeira sucks.

[57] Rather than your internet location, you might want to consider changing your geographic location.

Every time Montero homers, Ned Stark chops a head off in heaven.

[62] Most certainly. But right now I’m stuck. Very probably Promotion in 2 weeks should help that though.

I recently discovered how delicious tonic water is on its own. Consequently, I never have tonic water on hand, planning ahead I’m wondering what to drink when I run out of beer. I have gin, but nothing to mix it with. And I have scotch, but it seems a bit warm for scotch.

Got it to work by ending the “nexdef” process. Sad I missed His homer though.

[65] I find it’s important to imbibe enough quinine to ward off malaria, which may be the least inventive disease name ever.

Hi lads. What’d I miss?

That’s it, we all need to start calling each other lads. How we haven’t done that yet, I don’t know.

It’s really hard to drink a beer with the cap still on. I need a 30 rack.

[65] Gin don’t need no mixer. Rocks with a couple squeezes of lime if ya got it. Thanks me later.

[68] Not much. Jesus hit a homer. Snuggles is tipsy. Standard Friday fare.

[69] Thurm would want us to do this.

I need a 30 rack

...ah, never mind.

[71] I have a lot of lime. I will try, for sure.

[68] I’m approaching drunk blog territory. Jesus is as advertised: savior.

It’d be nice to see Colon solidify his #2 so the rotation wouldn’t be so loose.

[72] I’ve been very wary of PBR, however despite its hipster connection, the quality is far better than any other “bulk” beer and the price is not unreasonable. I would buy a 30 rack for a reasonable price.

damn, right at a fielder.

BAbip gods hate this team.

Hughes has ink? Weird, wouldn’t have guessed.

[75] You should buy bottled lone star, traitor. 

Did Jesus homer to right again?

How did Gardner’s average dip to .264? He should start bunting indiscriminately.

[79] Lonestar is terrible I’d consider Shiner.

No pulled into the BP in left.

[78] All the terrible pitchers are sporting them.

Wow, more bad luck.  This sucks.

Yanks forgot to sacrifice a goat to the BABIP gods this past week, didn’t they…

[81]  Bottled lone star was cheaper than soda when I was in college, and I found it very drinkable.  But I had only recently graduated from drinking malt liquor at the time, so I may have been wrong.

Through four and no breakup yet. This is going better than planned.

Wells is terrible.

[85] It’s not that bad, or that cheap anymore. I’d probably go with PBR over Lonestar.

Jeff Mathis reached he pinnacle of his career in 2008, when he accumulated all of 0.1 WAR per BBRef. Now watch him destroy the Yankees.

[86] You’re good until the Yankees start losing. That’s when the anger and taunting begins.

Good job, Derek.  Good to see this team is making up for their incredible lack of hitting with some stellar fielding.

Wow. Don’t look now, but Townies have the WC in a 5.5 game hammerlock.

Dammit, I told you not to look !

Remember when John Lackey was an Angels player and he was really good?

Be fun if Townies have to root for us when we play TB.

The misplay comes back to haunt them. Shocking.

FUCK

Jesus will come up again…

Nice K of Bobby Hustle by our big Colon.

Coloooon!

Now lets get some runs off this degenerate hippie.

How come Joe Maddon, Supergenius isn’t listed ?