So Baltimore should win by .01 runs tonight?

http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/08/26/stat-of-the-day-facing-the-bombers/

At least by having Burnett, we don’t have to face him.

Let’s hope for 90% knuckle curves, 7% changeups, and 3% fastballs tonight….

What happened to Brian Matusz?  Wouldn’t give Selig more than a pinkie toe?

why have Burnett start tonight

If there’s ANY chance the thing could arrive early and he could be plucked skyward by a fluke of the wind without a trace…I think you have to go with it at this point.

[4] Can somebody point me to the Steinbeck or equivalent story about a guy (a gambler and carouser of some sort) who makes a deal with the devil, but is only willing to sign away his toe, and later repents and ends up in heaven, perhaps as a saint, but his toe is still in hell?  Google isn’t helping.

Sounds like the Hitchcock with bet of a finger that his lighter will light x times in a row.

Rilke, your request reminds me of this one:

Homer: “I’m feelin’ low, Apu. You got any of that beer that has candy floating in it, you know, Skittlebrau?”

Apu: “Such a product does not exist, sir! You must have dreamed it.”

Homer: “Oh. Well then just gimme a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.”

[5] You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon… with nail polish.

[6[ I don’t know about Steinbeck. However, of course there’s Goethe and his
Faust.

A.J. will come out with both guns blazing but still suck.

I just spent 25 minutes scanning old Dukes of Hazard episode summaries thinking this just had to involve Uncle Jessie and Boss Hawg. Came up empty.

There’s the Jeter we know and love.

C-Grand grounds out like Tex.

the shift is shit

any predictions on how many innings before the swamp turkey meltdown?

ugh Arod

blech

typical AJ battling to overcome that first-inning adversity and pick up his defense…

[16] 1.1 innings.

Scranton Yankees.

Look, it boils down to this:  A.J. sucks a big effen d.

the meltdown cometh, by Eugene O’Neill

Exactly what purpose does A.J. Burnett serve?  Just curious….

could they just release him? what am I missing? he’s terrible.

A HR followed by three straight doubles.  I’m fairly certain you could grab any random AAA starter and he’d do better than A.J. has this season.

Hahahahahahhahahahahahaha

He’s awful. It’s like the film Paths of Glory, you know you’re going to be shot at dawn.

A.J. has now given up at least 3 earned runs in 10 straight starts (!!!!)

I’m fairly certain you could grab any random rookie league starter and he’d do better than A.J. has this season.

why is he still pitching? shut him down for the year.

I am not a rich person by any stretch of imagination, but I will personally buy AJ a first class one-way ticket to a destination of his choice. Hell, I’ll drive him to the airport.

I hear the Outer Banks are a hot destination.

On the positive side, he’s only thrown 45 pitches through 1.1.

[31] I feel you muh man.  Give me one good reason why swamp turkey should remain in the starting rotation?

I guess AJ showed Joe last time. You just don’t take this guy out until he’s good and damn ready.

He’s worse tonight than his last start.

Here’s a crazy one. In 27 starts this year, A.J. has given up at least one earned run every time.

Derek needs a therapist for his commitment issues and A.J. needs a therapist because he sucks.

I figured it out.  The Yankees keep rolling out AJB to make the bottom half of the league think that they have a real chance to compete.  Brilliant!

[26] I’m pretty sure I could replace that performance with 4 straight walks, presuming Martino can block my pitches which will only carry 38 feet, on average, within a 45 degree aiming cone towards the plate.

Edit: five straight walks.

AJ must be sat at this point. Seriously. I’d even say just release him. Fuck him, totally. With roster expansion, he should not even have a locker. Give his number away. Absolutely seriously.

Edit: 6 straight walks.

[39] It’s like revenue sharing, only on the baseball field itself.

AJ needs shock therapy, or confinement to a padded cell, or, I don’t know, waterboarding?

Does AJ want to be unemployed?
If he starts a game in the playoffs I will disavow my allegiance to this ballclub.

I hate to admit this, but I’m actively rooting against him. He’s not getting younger. He’s not getting better. And he’s very unpleasant.

Look, that’s what AJ can give you when he’s right.  We’ve seen it before.  Arm angle, mechanics, hung a couple pitches, Game 2 2009…

[Girardi walks quietly out of office, shoots self]

[43] I agree with this modest proposal for a mild course of treatment.

[42] Exactly.  Competitive balance.

So a HR, then 4 straight doubles, then another HR. 
Seriously, this must be his last start.  He has been and continues to be abysmal.  This is a pennant race - there is no reason he should be pitching in it.

Who thinks he’ll be out of the rotation after tonight’s catastrophe?

Holy shit, holy frijole just checked the score. I didnt think he could regress but he’s been down so long doesn’t seem like he could be more of a downer.

You can see where AJ would be rattled, going up against Tommy Hunter.

Our scat #1.

The last time A.J. Burnett made an appearance without giving up at least one earned run was July 28, 2010

I think he’ll visit the DL fairly soon, they need some pitchers for the weekend anyway.

I honestly believe AJ wants to do his best. But he couldn´t suck more without having his own moon.

If you really did smoke the objective pipe, it is clear both Hughes and Burnett should be out of the rotation in favor of the good control having, 95 MPH sinker throwing Hector Noesi. But there is absolutely no chance of that happening.

He’s a total bust.  He has two pitches and commands neither.  That 3-2 fastball that Reynolds launched into the stratosphere was right in his wheelhouse.  His mechanics look as fucked as ever and I think he has no idea where the ball is going half the time.

Way to battle back!

[57]  Oh, he knows where it’s going—it’s going back over his head at high velocity.

DL.  Since you can’t release him, DL—cite pychologiccal reasons, cite whatever.

[32] somehow struck a chord with the plane ticket part.

[60] Why can’t they release him ? I mean, they still have to pay him by contract, but can’t they just say “we’re done”, clean out his locker, reissue his number, burn his old uniforms, and pretend he never existed ?

Or are they also required to keep him on the roster ?

Or technically, is this “he doesn’t have any options, so he can’t be sent down without exposing him to waivers” ? OK, expose him. We should be so fucking lucky that another team picks him up. I hope its the Sox. I really do.

Yes, why can’t they release him? Oh, too bad, the Rockies claimed him.

Hey, we’re still in this. All we have to do is have another offensive breakout of historic proportions. For the second night in a row.

God, I hate AJ. I hate him so very much.

I’m just waiting for his “everything in my life sucks right now” presser. And it won’t be because his wife has cancer and Peter Gammons is plotting against him. It will be because his xbox 360 broke and the action on his Ruger is off.

They did put him on waivers, no one claimed him.

[66] The point is if no one is going to claim him, or even if you hope they do, you should do it in the context of sending him to AAA. Or AA. Whichever is more humiliating.

Steroid power on display at Fenway….

Stat padder. Only counts for one, anyway.

AJ vs Wake would be one for the ages, Townies fans to Wake as we are to AJ scat #1

Maybe AJ should be shot by a firing squad.  For some reason I have Paths of Glory on the brain tonight.  Ugly Johnny knows of what I speak.

We need to borrow some of those runs from yesterday.

Wow Singleton just said what I was gonna say in JEST.  Come on Kenny.

AJ era now 5.31.  SG needs to do an LVP.  AJ and Dunn come to mind immediately.

Why are the Yankees in the business of throwing away games?

yay wietets

Gonzalez is pissing it away here at fenway.

And we’re pissing away our pythag gain from yesterday.

that was good to see

Yeah, no kidding. 

In order to allow pressbox people to get the red sox game on mlb.tv without blackouts, they route their ip through somewhere in Pennsylvania.  Luckily for me, it’s too close to Baltimore and it blacked the Yankees game out, which I normally leave up on my screen.

Hey, all of a sudden the offense comes alive and the lead is back to single digits !! Woooooot !

gardner is a black hole right now

Even if Burnett clears waivers he can’t be sent down without his consent.

Even if Burnett clears waivers he can’t be sent down without his consent.

Well then someone will have to convince him to consent.

He was so gooooooooooood in 08. Wha Happen?

Is Girardi ducking the media tonight?

Joe:the calendar will change and hopefully he’ll be better in September.  Joe not repping optimism for once.  Jeter now has higher OBP then Gardner.

Jeets is a mad all star. Take a look at his Easter obit on RLYW. I canna believe it.

Ok to welcome Jeter back into the fold yet?  Is he still a pariah?

[87, 88]  I demand a more accurate timekeeping mechanism.

AJ “I need to pitch ahead”  Then he said when he got he started to pitch inside.  I think Irene is making De Nile overflow.

Pythag win/loss in Boston…

250k evacuated in NYC?  Montero.  Hope all the readers here affected by the storm stay safe and dry and not overly inconvenienced.

On a slightly serious note, do any of you lads live in or around the Toms River NJ area? My Da lives right off the GSP. 3 turns off of rt. 37. Im willing to beg and pay someone to check on his ass post Irene.
I can’t get there this weekend and I’m worried about the bitter old mick.
Email me.

OTF - hope your dad is ok.

on the lighter side, todays game makes me reminisce for the days of BAD AJ, not the fetid crapulent AJ of 2011.

If I had a car, you know I’d do it, thurm, but I’m going to be stuck in Astoria.

Brackman with a mini turnaround 1.76 era .58 whip k/inning last 15 innings.  Small sample or got his act together?

Brackman: 3.2 IP, 2 H, 0 R, 0 BB, 3K.

AJ too big to fail (just saw the movie)  except Im not sure he can be bailed out.
It’d be great if Brackman has figured things out.  Lets hope.

Watching the Grateful Dead movie right now… there is a scene where a girl wanders out of the arena to “get some air” and tries to explain, while sniffing a rose, to the police and arena staff that she should simply be allowed back in with no ticket stub and no way to prove that she was ever actually in the arena.

This scene reminds me of every interview with AJ lately.  I just wish there was some cop there who would keep AJ from getting back on the team bus.