With Gardner out, this might be the best non-Stewart lineup we could field in the Fenway Honey Bucket. Igana will get helped by playing defense in a racquetball court.

My ability to watch games at work has once again been curtailed. Will anyone be live-blogging this game?

[2] Supply beer.

[3] All I have is warm Lone Star.

You’ll have to settle for our drunk blog.

[5] I can live with that.

There will be much hilarity and sadness if Ibanez gets more games in the field than A-Rod this year

There will be much hilarity and sadness rage if Ibanez gets more games in the field than A-Rod this year

[7] - In order for that to happen two things would occur…

a) Eric Chavez stays healthy.
b) Nunez is even worse in the outfield than he is in the infield.

Not likely to happen.

[4] Anything else would be warm treason.

So, is Ted Williams’ head confirmed for the Fenway pregame ceremonies?

Wait, this is a 3:05 game?  WTF?

[12] Thanks for informing me.  I thought it was a 4:05 game.  What I’m saying is, thank you for giving me an excuse to start getting drunk an hour earlier than I would have.  Drunkblog will commence shortly.

Will anyone be live-blogging this game?

If Brian or Matt or Jonathan want to to do the honors they have my blessing.  Unfortunately like you I’m stuck with no way to view the game.  I’m thinking this may turn out to be a good thing.

Wait the lineup includes the Boston Red Sox but it’s for realz this time?

I’m in the press box inputting data for the game so the most I can give is some snark comments throughout the game about smelly reporters.

And small unnoticeable fist pumps. (I hope)

Apparently Pedro Martinez is already drunkblogging this event…

An auspicious beginning.

High pop-up just over 2B by Jeter.  E4 on Pedroia off the heel.

Granderson swings at the first pitch and flies out to center.

A-Rod up next.

Nova vs one of the five best pitchers in baseball is kind of a mismatch.

[11] From the poem Autumn In New England:

Goblin face with tortured eyes,
Crusted skins on pumpkin pies,
Leaves a-crumbling, brown and red,
Like Ted Williams’ head.

Children kicking there and here,
Soccer with the frozen sphere!
Playing near the old woodshed,
With Ted Williams’ head.

Youk still angry; Dustin, short,
Bro still in and out of court;
Papi’s pee still glowing red,
Like Ted Williams’ head.

Old John Henry, back to scratch,
Two Viagras, down the hatch!
Owner’s wife asleep in bed,
Like Ted Williams’ head.

Dice K throwing every day,
Elbow hurts? He’ll be OK!
Schilling’s heel still painted red,
Like Ted Williams’ head.

Redsock Nation, full of fight,
Nothing on TV tonight.
Days grown chilly, cold and dead,
Like Ted Williams’ head.

Buchholz throws it juuusstt a bit high.  Ball was probably 9 feet in the air.

I see that the MLB Shop has the 1912 Red Sox hats for sale.  That’s a worthy investment.

Alex rips a double single to left-center.  Very hard hit ball.  Looks like a high 4FB from Buchholz.  Nice stroke.

ARod earning that money.  Well, some of it.

Buchholz throws it juuusstt a bit high.  Ball was probably 9 feet in the air.

I was just about to ask about that. I’ve never seen a pitch miss that much on gameday.

Robbie hits one just shy of the wall in center.  Someone named “Repko” jumps and makes the play.  Alex tags and goes to second.  Didn’t look like it was hit too well off the bat, but it carried pretty well.

Teix up with RISP, so I assume the inning is over.

Weak grounder down the line to first.  Easy play.

I will spend the commercial break learning who is currently playing for the Pawtucket Red Sox.

Cano is just making fun of Pedroia now.

Robbie makes Pedroia look silly by running up the 1B line to make a Mays style play.  Is that officially his “jump-throw?”

Cano stylin’.

Sweeney strikes out before I can look up from typing my last comment.  I assume he had a wonderful AB and made Nova work very hard.

[28] I’d say his patented move is the throw across his body while running away from 1B.

Nova throwing 93-94 early, down in the zone.  Looks good vs. Pedroia so far. 

YES just decided to show a terrible angle so I am not sure where or what the 1-1 pitch was.  So at least there’s that.

Hanging curve on 1-2 that is lined into center.  Solid single.  Bad pitch.

I used to be a court stenographer, I can transcribe Serling’s play by play.

Wow, throw some knickers on Pedroia and he looks even more like a jockey. Shouldn’t he be busy breezing a 3-year-old before a Derby prep race right now?

[31] and then letting a ball go by him by less than a foot on the next play.

Nova up in the zone for ball 1 to Gonzalez. 

Comes back with the same pitch, just lower and in the zone for strike 1.

These uniforms really make Pedroia look like one of the Keebler elves…

Third straight fastball.  This one up in the zone and Gonzalez fouls it back.  Didn’t look like he made great contact.

88MPH inside and fouled off to 1B side.  Another pick-off attempt.

[34] He should be holding a ring out at the curb.

[37] A what where?

Curve in the dirt to AGon.  Pitch 6 (2-2) is right down the middle hit high and Grandyman makes the catch on the warning track right against the wall.  Disaster averted.

[38] Thus.

Nick Swisher up for the Yanks.  Ball 1 down and in.  Singy mentions that Swisher looked locked in during BP.  Fastball outer half fouled off to left.  Curve(?) inside.  2-1.  Fouled off to 3B side out of play.  Looked like a cutter or a change but I don’t know Buchholz well enough.  Next pitch is a 91mph FB that is hit out for a HR.

Yay Swish!!

That ball looked like a Monster special that would hit off the wall for a single or maybe a double.  Ball appears to be carrying well based on some of the warning track fly balls and that “homerun”

Disgraceful.

Swishalicious!

[38] Back in the old days, they used to have these out in front of your house by the street, so you had something to tie your horse to. Apparently they are still used as old-timey lawn decor.

There were still a few of these here and there around town when I was a kid.

1-1 to Iganez is ripped to Pedey who makes the play.

Crowd is silent after Swish CHB.  Can’t wait to hear Sweet Caroline.

Chavez up and fouls one back, 0-1.  FB right down the middle, 0-2.

[33] Now, Suzyn, our old friend Joe Piscopo stopped by the booth the other day and you know what we forgot to do?

What’s that, Jawn?

We had a marvelous little chat and we didn’t ask him once about Treat Williams…

JAWN!!! It’s time for the out of town scoreboard driven by Jeep. It’s Volstad against Bailey in Chicago, Jawn, and Volstad is not pitching well. No home-uhs. Everything else is…later.

Somewhere [singing] somewhere, above the clouds [speaking] Sweeney struck out in all of that.

[40] I take it the idea is the horse is supposed to gallop up and jump through the ring camel-through-the-eye-of-a-needle-style?

Edit: Never mind, I see [43].  Maybe that explains a bit in Chandler’s _The High Window_ I hadn’t quite followed.

Chavezalicious!

Small fist pumps here.

WOW!  Looked like a fastball up and out of the zone.  Chavez got a hold of it.  Barely got over the wall.  I guess my statement about the ball carrying well holds true.  That looked like a double, at most.  Awesome.

CAn’t believe they want to celebrate 100 years of this disgraceful bandbox.

Remember when we used to argue Hughes and Joba vs Lester and Buchholz? Haha…

3-0 to Russ before I hit Submit.  Something about a .133 avg and a .390 OBP.

Takes strike 1 over the middle.  Another FB right over the middle that is hit to Youk for an easy out.  Worst pitch of the inning with the best result.  Is this Phil Hughes 2.0?

Jeter rips a 1-1 pitch just out of reach of Youk and off his glove for a single.  Youk took 3 steps to his left, but couldn’t make the play.

[51] I still maintain that Joba was the best of the 4. The Yankees never gave him a real chance after an average (albeit disppointing) 2009.

Bucholz should have stuck to stealing laptops.

Grandyman back at the plate.  1-0 curve makes Salthasldkfjalskdfia stand up.  2-0 is a cutter right down the middle, but Grandy fouls it off the plate.

2-1 pitch had the arm action of a change, 77mph and Grandy swings right through it.  2-2 pitch is ripped down the right field line. 

All line drives from the Yankees.  Buchholz isn’t fooling anyone with the fastball right now.

Alex back up after a quick look at Bobby V.  He was calmly chewing some Big League Chew.  Calmly.

A-Rod hits the first offering foul down the 3B line.

0-1 is a nice pitch on the outside corner for strike 2.  Alex in the hole. 

0-2 to Alex is right over the plate and Alex grounds it weakly to short to end the inning.

DFA-Rod

Serling and Suze say Buccholz is pitching as if on Seconals.  Is he that slow?

Is my PBP useful to anyone or should I stick to drinking?

[54] That horrendous Trampolining Above Replacement number really hurts his overall statistical picture though.

[60] Please continue. but keep drinking too. I want to track the loss of coherence as the innings progress.

Ortiz just crushed one to left center for a home run.  He’s standing on second, but he’ll get credit for the dingah

shaked, I really appreciate it. Stuck in the office once again.

Someone test this guy.  It’s pretty much a lock he’s on something.

The ball is really carrying well today.  Ortiz crushed it, but it got up and stayed up really well. 

I like seeing Nova go right after the hitters after getting a few runs behind him.  Probably shouldn’t throw it right down the middle to Ortiz, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Good thing Ortiz is the only good hitter left on this team.

Oooh. That hits the fan’s hand. Above and behind the line, should be a homer.

Ortiz would never, his body is a temple.

Also, it’s embarrassing that a team is still playing in this disgraceful bandbox.

Curve to Youk for strike 1. 

Nova has pretty good stuff today.  0-1 pitch is a 94 mph FB on the inside corner.

1-1 pitch is on the outside corner and Youk goes with it to right for a double.

I can’t get enough of these stories of internecine warfare inside the Townieses’ camp.

Crowd gets going now as Salty step to the plate.

Nova pitching backward with a nice curve on the outside corner of 0-1.

Goes back to the curve, misses badly 1-1.

1-1 pitch is another curve low and inside barely fouled off.

1-2 pitch is ANOTHER curve that dives out of the zone and is barely fouled off. 

1-2 pitch is a high FB inside.  Russ wanted it more down the middle and up, Salty doesn’t bite

2-2 is another curve that Salty grounds to 1B.  Ortiz to third

Good curve for strike 1 to Cody “don’t call me Ransom” Ross.

0-1 pitch is low and Ross swings through it.  Gun registered 89mph so maybe a change?

0-2 pitch is 89mph again had some loop to it.  Bad pitch but Ross swings right through.  Think it was a slider.

96mph first pitch high to Repko and inside for ball 1.

1-0 is another slider grounded foul.  1-1 is a slider grounded weakly to Chavez for out 3.

Nova showing his slider for the first time.  Not much movement, looks like a cutter.  Curve looks a lot better today.

Does Nova feature a change?  I’ve seen his FB, SL and CU so far today.

This is based purely on my own thoughts and observations, thus 100% guaranteed to be refuted by actual evidence, but it seems like Nova has struggled after long innings by the Yanks’ bats these lat two games. Discuss.

Text poll:
Best heartache
2011 collapse
Dent HR
2003 Booney
missed #4

1-1 to Cano is a 92MPH FB that hits off of Buchholz.  Would have been an out but Aviles can’t make the play in time.  Ball looked like it was headed right for Pedroia (assuming he was in position).

Single for Robbie

[77] Buckner.

Teix up and takes a change inside for strike 1.  Decent pitch.  Teix looked fooled.

0-1 pitch is a FB right down the middle that is popped up to center for Repko.  1 out.

Swish up.

0-1 pitch is a FB right down the middle that is popped up to center for Repko

It really bothers me that teix is not putting consistently good contact on pitches like these. Anecdotally, it seems like he gets a lot of them.

First pitch FB to Swisher for strike 1.

Swish calls time so Kay can finish his story about Terry Francona and the scandal.

0-1 pitch to Swish is a solid curve that Swish fouls off the plate, 0-2.

0-2 pitch is really high and Salty stands.  No chance for a swing.

1-2 pitch, as Swish sports some nice Oakleys, is another curve in the dirt that Swish isn’t interested in.

Kay still talking about Francona.

2-2 pitch is an inside FB that hits the glove.  Swisher fouls it off to the third base side.  Buchholz is really inconsistent, but when he hits his spots he is having success.

Buchholz doing his best Hughes impression as Swish fouls off another 2-2 FB.

2-2 pitch is another curve that has no bite and is outside and high.  3-2 count.

Pitch 7 (by my count) is a 3-2 FB outside with runner going.  Swish works a walk.  Nice AB.  Bad story.

Is the team hitting into an unusually large amount of DPs this year, or does it just seem that way?

Not cool Raul.

Iganez up.  First pitch high and outside.  If that’s a curve, it sucks.  That’s 3 pretty bad curves this inning.

1-0 pitch is a nice fastball down and in that Iganez swings right through.  Perfect location.

1-1 pitch is 89mph down the middle that Iganez is way out in front of.  Looked like a Cutter.

1-2 pitch is another 93MPH FB right down the middle that Iganez hits hard, but right to AGon who gets the 1-6-3 DP going in a hurry.  Really impressive fielding.  Inning over.

Buchholz missed a lot of spots that inning, but when he puts the ball where he intends to he has success.  Iganez should have done more with that pitch.

The only thing I like about this game is knowing the Yankees had to sit around for the longest couple hours of their pre game lives.

Question: Will Jeter send tonight’s companion home tomorrow with some Fenway Century memorabilia?

Is the team hitting into an unusually large amount of DPs this year, or does it just seem that way?

It seems like it, but no.  2012 MLB average is 11% for DP divided by DP situations.  Yankees are at 10%.

Aviles up.  Shadow starting about 45 feet from the plate. 

Nova starts him with a first pitch curve, 0-1.

87mph slider on 0-1 grounded right to Jeter for out #1.  Nova working quickly.

AHAHA what the fuck was that

77, 79: No contest really. The only mitigating factor with Buckner is that they’d already kinda blown it. But if you want to use that as a one-word summary for the whole inning, you can’t really get any worse than that. Ask the 2011 Rangers.

Sweeney hits a first pitch FB to left that hits off the bottom of the wall over Iganez’s head and then rolls around.  Sweeney to second.

Gardner, depending on where he is positioned, gets to that ball.

First pitch FB to Pedroia, 0-1.

0-1 to Pedroia is 88mph and leaks over the middle but Pedroia swings through it.  Grip shows me that’s a slider.  Singy talking about shadows.

0-2 slider is way outside and down.  Waste pitch.

1-2 pitch is another slider that’s way up in the zone and over the plate.  Pedroia takes for ball 2.

2-2 is 95MPH on the outer half and Pedroia fouls it off to the 1B side.

Pitch 5 looked like a FB without the “fast” at 90mph.  Pedroia pops it up to Grandy who makes the easy play.  2 outs.

[90] Following that, don’t you have to give the nod to Bucky Dent ? Because up until then it had been in their hands.

AGon gets a first pitch curve for a strike, 0-1.

0-1 pitch is an 8 foot high FB that Russ stands up to catch.  Not a good pitch.

1-1 to AGon is a slider (no gun reading) that is fouled off to the 1B side.  1-2.

Pitch #Pettitte from Nova is a 1-2 FB up and in to AGon, but he doesn’t bite.

1-2 pitch is a 1-2 curve that gets AGon looking.  Beautiful pitch on the outer half.  No chance.  Best pitch of the game.

[94] It’s so nice to see a young pitcher with 2 good offspeed pitches, so that if one isn’t working great (slider today) he can lean on the other (curve).

We could use some more runs.

93: Yep, Dent is a solid #2. After that, everything else is background noise. Last year was statistically sucky and obnoxious to behold, but who cares about those jerks? Post-two rings, nothing hurts like it used to.

Perhaps Chavez is the hero we needed to vanquish Nunie.

Noonie.  Oh?

Missed the quiz question.

First pitch fouled away to Chavez.

0-1 cutter inside for ball 1

1-1 cutter low for ball 2.

2-1 pitch is a fastball on the inner half that Chavez grounds foul to 1B.

2-2 pitch is a curve that’s fouled off behind home plate.  Buchholz at 66 pitches.

Pitch 6 is high and outside, 3-2.

3-2 pitch is a cutter fouled off weakly to first base side.

8th pitch of the AB is a 3-2 cutter that is CRUSHED to center.

CRUSHED!  No doubter this time.  Pitch was right down the middle at 90MPH, either a cutter or a 4FB, but Chavez was all over it.