tex stinks.

.400 Jeter is WOE’s only hope.

It’s kind of funny that, excluding the catcher, 3/4/5 have the lowest SLG% on the team.

Timely quotes from Girardo:

“I’ve seen some things that (Teixeira)’s done and the way he’s swung the bat,” Girardi said. “I think he’s going to start swinging it and being more consistent. We thought we got through it when we went to Boston those couple days, but he got back into it. We’ll get through it. … It’s real important because he’s such a big bat. It’s a guy that drives in over 100 runs. You look at his RBI, what is he, third or fourth on the team? We know he’s capable of doing more and I think we’ll see it. I think it’s coming soon. I really believe that.”

Girardi clearly supports optimism.

He is not smoking the objective pipe.

[6] I can never tell…is that the equivalent of the blue pill or the red pill?

PLaying from behind before the game is six outs old is this team’s favorite thing in the world. They love it more than ponies and ice cream and hitting into the shift.

I really am pleased with Iguana’s bat…but man, this team is going to be so much better with Gardner managing left field again.

edit: that wasn’t a response to Jones ripping that double.

I like that Teix is getting his ABs over quickly, at least. I’d hate to waste a lot of time getting to 3-2 just for a pop-up.

Teix coughing on his way back to the dugout. If Girardi can’t rest him until he is better, could he at least be lower in the lineup?

You might not be very good if the league is hitting 325 and your era is over 5 or are those metrics meaningless?

[11] Or at least send him up to bat wrapped in a blanket. May as well get some amusement out of this.

Offense Gone Missing Part II tonight.

so i was about to mock our ineptitude vs Hammel and then decided to look him up—3 years, 30 starts, era under 5 in Colorado—that’s actually pretty cromulent….

One day when he’s old and decrepit, Nick the Stick’s batting average will decline to an even zero. But his OBP will still be .100

WOE

I can’t keep up with the debate here.

“old and decrepit”: fair description of the Yankee offense tonight.

The umpire’s extended strike zone does not help…

Is there a less exciting situation than two on with no outs and Mark Teixeira due up?

Teix’s up: DP or strike out?

No DP!

Thanks Davis.

[21]
Give it up for the productive out!

I’m just amazed he didn’t ground into a DP.

[21] Forgotten Drunk Cremation Day at the Toledo Embalmer and Burial Salon?

He tried.

Swisher!

Swisher > Teixeira

Dudebro D-Bag strikes again!

Everyone on earth > Teixeira.

Thank you Swisher. But we won’t re-sign you anyway.

Remember when Swisher was supposed to be our starting 1B? And then we were happy Cashman got Teixeira?

2009 was sweet though.

Teix hasn’t been terrible these last two years.  Just horrifically overpaid.

Maybe Brian Roberts would recover faster if he wasn’t spending all his time in tanning beds.

Lead-off walk… Way to go, Nova…

Nova is the new Pettitte, in battling terms that is

Granderson!

Feels like Grandy has been a missing man lately

EDIT: Whoops

WTF, Martin: don’t even trying to break the DP, actually, getting OUT OF THE WAY to help the O’s turn it…

Granderson!

Edit - Tree by 36 seconds.

Yay Grandy!

WTF was that 2-1 pitch?

Moronic home plate umpire…

At least they can let Robertson rest tonight.

At least they are going to have some early picks in the draft next year

This game is over.

This game is over.

Will Cano advance even one more base?

At least they are going to have some early picks in the draft next year

With the way they draft, that’s not really going to help a whole lot.

Hammel walking Teix: THANK YOU!!!

You can’t take that away from them: they’re teasing us…

runs!

It’s better to be lucky than good.

Buckner lives!

Yankee of the game: Chris Davis…

DP coming for sure

Yay….K.

Derek: if you strike out, Davis cannot help you out…

Well that sure sucked. I expected it but it still sucked.

In the meantime, Boston and Tampa are cruising…

And now Nova’s hurt.

[64] I am sure the Yankees can find someone who hasn’t pitched since 2010 that half the people here hate to replace him.

I felt Nova was good tonight. And unlucky.

Was watching VEEP, funny show. What happened to Nova? Fredo looked sharp in relief

[66] Damaso Marte? I don’t hate him.

Teixeira! Less terrible than before!

Zombie Tex!

I swear I ALMOST called it

Where the hell did that come from?

HTF did that happen?

Maybe God exists, after all?

[75] quietly stepping out of the room to stare longingly at a Rivera photo…

Whatever was happening to those people on the island on Lost must be happening to us because I swear we all THINK we just saw Teix hit a HR.

I swear all I’m watching is spinning circles of death, and that’s no illusion.

Granderson !!

Gary Pettis/Devon White/ Paul Blair. That sweet.

Granderson cares not for your UZR

Joe Morgan would have scooped that right up. Just ask him.

The Home Plate ump tonight has been awful for both teams.

Indeed. Random ball/strike generator.

Home-plate umpire caught up napping…

Jete was safe.

Of course a Barksdale will blow that call in Bodymore, Murderland.

The Jeter of old is back…

Alex needs eyedrops.

“rain falling on our crowd mic”

what is umbrella?

[87] You mean the Jeter than legs out ground balls and beats the throw, even if the ump blows the call ? That Jeter of old ?

[90]: the “2 DPs per night” Jeter. OK, maybe 1 and 1/2…

[86] Ballemore ted. Tawk like yis bin dare.

[89] Or turn off the crowd mic as we really don’t need to hear the 12 fans at Camden clapping along with “Every-body clap your hands [clap-clap-clapclapclapclap…]

[92] Opening credits of The Wire. Bodymore, Murderland.

Greatest show ever.

I have to say I am a fan of Girardi using Logan here instead of his official eighth inning guy.

[96] Maybe the Binder self-destructed when Mo went down. Just couldn’t compute.

The Binder is currently floating in the Inner Harbor.

Yes, losing Rivera forced him to get smarter.

[94] I know. The onliest guys that get it perfect are Rawls and Valcheck. They kill it like you doing the Minnesoda. Ziggy and Frank get honorable mention.