I dub this the “Not-Drunk, but Sick and Distraught Snuggles Live Blog”

This would be OT if it could be, but it can’t.

For Montero, that means a season of hitting, catching and observing. Pineda only can do the last of those. No one wanted that to be the case.

Many, can that Morosi write, or can he?

Snuggles, let me know if you want the official beer bottle icon for your live blogging.

[3] I won’t be drinking tonight as I’m fighting off a cold, so I feel like it would be a lie.

If it helps you decide, ST(f)U, I’m pretty sure most people here will instinctively see a beer bottle as higher in the cosmic hierarchy than a mere lightning bolt.

If Snuggles doesn’t want the official beer icon, can I have it? I can drink the beer for him.

Snuggles got a sick icon.  I can give you the beer icon Bubba.

I’m so jealous of the lightning bolt / beer bottle combo that it’s making me sick to my stomach.  Or maybe it’s the Noesi trade causing that.  The Yankees really could have used him in the rotation this year.  I can’t believe they traded him for a pitcher with a bum shoulder!  He could have brought back so much more!  Someone like Jeff Niemann or Wade Davis, for example!

Hilarious.
YM is lightning quick.
Reflexes!
Well, enough beer will bring her down closer to our level.

Is there an icon for “stop whining like a little bitch?”  Because I want that one.

Can someone explain how Pineda being out for the season means Garcia or Hughes gets a stay of execution?

BattleCat is coming for one of their spots and Phelps should be given a shot in the rotation as well.

Even without Pineda, the rotation should eventually be CC, Kuroda, Nova, BattleCat, Phelps

How does Pineda’s injury plus the standings so far affect the final projections for this year?

Is there an icon for “stop whining like a little bitch?”  Because I want that one.

There is.  It’s a black spider with a red background.

Can someone explain how Pineda being out for the season means Garcia or Hughes gets a stay of execution?

I guess I’d be surprised to see Hughes bumped for Phelps, at least right now.  I think Garcia’s gone as soon as Pettitte gets called up, which might mean Garcia to the pen and Phelps to AAA to start.

I don’t see what the problem is, really. Who among us got all attached to Pinata so quickly, anyway ? It’s better to get rid of him early. Like flsuhing the goldfish before the kids have settled on a name. Eff ‘im, he’s gone. Like a red shirt security guard that gets eaten first on the shore party. The green skinned chick will still belly dance, and the episode will turn out fine in the end, and on time.

Look at it this way. If you were offered this deal last year, who amongst us wouldn’t have gone for it: You’ll never see Jesus Montero hit as a Yankee. But you’ll also never see AJ Burnett pitch again as a Yankee.

That’s a lead pipe cinch. Sacrifices have to be made, mister. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Easy come, easy go. It came easy, and it went just as fast. I had it, and I went with it…Where was I ?

Oh, yeah. Clipping Montero is the price for making AJ disappear (I was watching The Sopranos earlier). Deal, where do I sign ? Oh, I have to throw in a few million Steinbucks ? Consider the pot sweetened, just fill in the amount and call me to tell me how much.

I’m feeling really terrible watching Snuggles dry heaving. Do we have a thingy that actually barfs that can be used instead ?

Also, bring Venditte up to The Show. If not now, when ?

OK… I can’t find the game on local channels, hopefully it’s available on mlb.tv

WOOT!

Wait, there is the possibility of requesting icons? Can I have a shark, preferably one with an arm in its mouth?

[15] Disaster averted. I can watch Hughes last 3.2 innings!

I want an 8-bit Jeff Karstens face.

Wait, there is the possibility of requesting icons?

The window for requesting icons has closed for tonight.  If Hughes pitches a quality start and the Yankees win I will re-open it.

I want 8-bit Simpsons Mattingly.  No sideburns.

I have never rooted for a Hughes quality start so hard before. Well, maybe a few times.

Are we going by the official definition of quality start, or an SG interpretation here?

Official definition.  6+ IP, 3 R or less.

[22] let’s be reasonable. We should simply hope for Hughes having good stuff.

I too am fighting a cold.  Given the news on Pineda, I may drink some beer anyway.

[24] Actually, I’m strangely hopeful, but that could be the dehydration and head-cold talking.

How does Pineda’s injury plus the standings so far affect the final projections for this year?

I’m going to say about two wins, depending on how those innings get allocated.  Yankees should still be favorites to win the East.  I’ll have to see what the postseason odds are.

I would think their postseason odds are up slightly just because of the RS rough start.

I figure if Texas can’t jump start Hughes, nothing can…

[29] Maybe we should hook him up to a car battery. You know, just in case.

The icons are making my day.
YM and SG are awesome.

I would think their postseason odds are up slightly just because of the RS rough start.

Them and Tampa Bay, that’s what we saw here

The game is about to start. Can Hughes pitch more than 5 innings? Can he give up fewer runs than innings pitched? How will the offense disappoint tonight?

These are just a few of the questions whirling through my simple, diseased mind.

Waiting on the first pitch and the regional FOX sports sideline reporter for the Rangers is disappointing.

I love the notion that the Red Sox are last in the AL East and everyone else is first.

Scott Feldman sort of looks like a gentle giant. He has a hauntingly vacant stare.

And delivers the first pitch, high for a ball.

Can Hughes pitch more than 5 innings?

Over how many games ?

Can he give up fewer runs than innings pitched?

Not once he starts. His optimal runs/innings ratio tops out before warmups are done.

How will the offense disappoint tonight?

Tremendously.

Jeters hits one to center on a 1-1.

My only question is how many runs will he give up in his 3.2 IP.  Is it possible to have a successful start with 3.2 IP?

I guess that’s 2 questions.

Granderson has fouled off 3 pitches, but he got lucky on the curve.

Can we give the liveblogger auto-bold?  Can the live blogger put everything in

< b >

?

Can I have a pony?

Feldman’s curve was pretty nice looking, nothing else has impressed yet, although he got it up to 92 on a fastball.

Granderson lets a fastball get by him and Ks swinging on a high FB

Feldman just hit 94 on the gun, but is sitting around 90.

Matt Kemp wishes he were Derek Jeter

ARod gets a gift call and the count goes full. So of course he Ks on a 94 mph FB down and Jeter steals 2nd successfully.

And I forget to add the “/b” tag.

Cano rolls over a pitch for an easy grounder to 2B

Cano looks bad at the plate. Looks like he is trying to pull everything.

Montero had to have a good game tonight just to rub it in.

It’s now officially Hughes-day. Please have your sick bags ready.

Phil has not pitched well

For most players improving on a 6.76 ERA would be easy…

Hughes starts the game off well with a strike and then runs it inside 1-1. Hughes is 91-2 and gives up a line drive right at Cano for the out.

For those of you counting that’s more outs than baserunners AND runs.

Hughes has a nice pace tonight and is pumping fastballs into the strike zone. 3 pitch backwards K for Hughes. Hughes!

[54] It’s not an official game until halfway through the fifth inning.

Is this Phil Hughes kid a prospect?  Never heard of him.

Hughes has the high strike figured out tonight, and gets Hamilton to ground out weakly to 1B!

Hughes looked…good?

Tease.

Hughes is going to pitch a quality start just to spite me, isn’t he?

1-2-3 from Hughes? Bizzaro world¿

Dare I say that Hughes looked good that inning? And efficient? I do! I do dare!

As I recall, Hughes is fazed by nothing because he has an old soul.
How long ago was that?  It must be a wizened, dusty little pea of a soul by now.

[61] And Teix beat the shift…

Tex, wait for it… slaps a ball down the 3B line, beating the shift. He will not learn from this.

It’s a good thing that Hughes has the high strike figured out because there is no low strike today.

Swisher flies out weakly to left.

I like slap-hitting Teix.

Iguano digs into to attempt the only thing he can do: hit a HR.

The Yankees are perplexed by Feldman’s 90 mph fastball.

[60] I want a Zombie wearing a Yankee hat. Official MLB version, not the cheap copies they sell on the subway platform.

Hamilton makes a nice sliding grab on a sinking drive and then throws out Tex at 1B. Ugh.

I am just getting more and more angry about Pineda, it’s really distracting me from that double play.

It took an inning, but Hughes does not disappoint to disappoint and gives up a blast to straight away center.

this strike zone is terrible btw. for both pitchers. Hughes recovers with a weak grounder to Jeter.

Ballgame

And another weak grounder to Jeter.

Hughes induces another weak grounder, this time to himself for the 3rd out. HR aside, he still looks pretty good.

I really hope this is one of the games where the offense looks terrible once through then pummels this clown.

Chavez is down 1-2 after fouling several pitches off.

he takes strike 3 called. Once again, this strike zone is pretty terrible.

I told you Hughes was a tease.

Russell is apparently thinking like me and wants go get to turn 2 as quickly as possible.

Jeter is having none of this and singles to center again. Jeter is super locked in and Feldman made a mistake, I was actually surprised Jeter only got a single out of it.

Jeter is hitting .430 with a 1.111 OPS.

MVP.

Granderson looks really dangerous at the plate. Please let us judge him by his cover.

Feldman agrees with me and walks Granderson on a full count.

GD makes it look like Granderson got every close call in that AB.

OUT ARod is up to some hearty boos from the home crowd. How dare he get traded away.

ARod sucks to 2B for the out.

LVP

[90]
Nice.

The Rangers’ cheerleaders are very attractive young women.

Hey, guess what ? GD classic now shows the whole pitch animation thingy for prior batters !!! It only took two complaint posts, but they dusted off the archived code out of PVCS and merged it back in to restore the feature.

Woo Hoo ! See what the power of obnoxious complaining can do ?

Nice curve from Hughes to run it to 1-2 against the dangerous Napoli. And Hugh fires one down the middle for a K looking. Huughes!

Hughes is hitting 93 this inning and the FB looks good. The Rangers are taking a lot of pitches. And the 1-2 is lined sharply to CF for a single.

Effing Twins.

Hughes gives up a weak fading fly that Swisher can’t get to for a double. 2nd and 3rd with 1 out. Crappy hit.

Hughes is pounding the “strike zone” today. I like this version of Hughes.

94 & 93 on the last two FBs.
Uh-oh. He has “good stuff” today.

I missed said cheerleaders.  Is this what the famous Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders do in their offseason? Like winter ball?