Zombie Jeter
Swish
can0
TAFKAAR
The unzombiefiable corpse of Mark Teixeira
Stuart Granderson
Andruuuuuuu
TSBG
Stewart (whoever the f that is?)

Is the lineup. Swish is DHing.

But really they should just forfeit since Nova, Phelps, and Kuroda are their only chances of winning and none of them are starting tonight.

Congrats to Liriano on his first perfect game!

Not being able to complain makes these intros much harder.

That’s a complaint.

[2] That is a complaint masquerading as a statement.

[3] - Sentence fragment is also a sentence fragment.

[4]

“Linguo!  Dead?”

“Linguo…IS…dead.”

Teix scratched due to “flu-like symptoms.”

“For liability purposes, it is the ocean that will kill you, not us.”

[6] Swish to 1B, CC to DH, and Phelps to SP?

Instead of the fun route I listed above, they went with the terrifying route of:
Swish to 1B, Jeter to DH, and Nunez to E6.

I think I understand the new complaining rules, but not sure…...am I allowed to “express concern”?

I’ll be surprised if Pineda wins 10 games in his Yankee career.

I am unable to argue that you will not be surprised if Pineda wins 10 games in his Yankee career.
But I would ask what possible rational argument you could make, based upon available information, for the likelihood of Pineda not winning more than nine games over the rest of his Yankee career.

Pineda has a shoulder injury.  Wang had a shoulder injury.  Wang did not win 10 games after his shoulder injury.  QED.

[10] I think it’s obvious that winning 10 games as a Yankee would severely diminish our complaining, disdaining, and express concerning…

[11] Wang won a ton of games after his shoulder injury. Then he suffered another shoulder injury, after which he has not won 10 games.

[13] But did give us the joy that was Swish on the mound.

Edit - and the additional joy of fans chanting “we want Swisher” during the next blowout.

[13]  Well, that’s the injury I meant, obviously.

[6] I was pretty sure that was a Simpsons quote, but I googled it just to double check. The first hit that came up was a blog with this as the title of the post:

The Decline of The Simpsons How TV’s Funniest Show Turned Boring and Unwatchable

I have to admit I haven’t looked for a new episode of the Simpsons in over 12 years.

Whatever you guys think of Rosenthal, look at the SECOND video here, about 3/5 of the way down the page, with Rosenthal on the Valentine-Yucky episode:

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/Bobby-Valentine-Kevin-Youkilis-Boston-Red-Sox-firestorm-Mad-Men-Pete-Campbell-Don-Draper-must-watch-how-it-ends-041612
 
The end is pretty stunning.

14 pitches. What’s that going to do to beer sales, I don’t like to think.

Stewart (whoever the f that is?)

Some redshirt security sent to the transporter room. Don’t get attached. Don’t even bother learning his name. He’ll be gone by the second commercial break.

What’s the story on Tex? Seems odd to sit him against a lefty starter.

He and his appendix have an appointment with Dr. Hank.

I think that counts as our tease. It’s good to get it out of the way, early.

CC’s ‘fastball’ still seems pedestrian.

CC throwing at 91 is not good

[24] You call that complaining?

And right on queue, Colby Lewis shits the bed in beantown. This is going to be a great day and week.

93 now

CC has nothing, but the good news is that we have him till he’s 48 years old

[28] Smart shoppers buy in bulk.

Nooney !!!

Gardner Power!

Speaking of shitting the bed in beantown, I give you Jon Lestah.

“A fan reached over”? Interesting way of saying “it went in the stands,” Mike.

[5] + [6] is an inspiring Simpsons two-fer.  May it inspire the Yankees to victory over the “mighty” Twins…

True story-I have a cousin named Chris Stewart.

Fucking cooked.

[35] I had to google “Chris Stewart” to figure out why this nugget of information was relevant. Turns out we signed some schmoe with the same name.

[37] That was the most in-depth statistical analysis I could come up with for that guy.

Is 2008 Cano back?

Beltre just worked Lester over for a 12 pitch single. Lester at 57 pitches still in the second inning. Tee hee.

[40] 12 pitch infield single.  That’s the special part.

Twin killing by the ump.

Townies bend but don’t break getting out with the bases loaded after having given up 4 runs. Lester at 63 after 2.

And Sabathia has nothing at all once again.

I think now I’m actually starting to worry a little bit.

50 pitches through 2+? Hughes would kill for efficiency like that.

[42] Why is the red Sox game so important when CC can’t get a 93 mph for a strike and can’t get an out against the Twins at home

I want Phelps.

This team stinks.

How many more years of CC + Hughes + Garcia?

When CC gets DFA’ed, does he still get all of his salary?

Get Phelps up.

Josh PHELPS! I was trying to remember his last name. Cut Tex, get him back.

[46] Just trying to find a little joy to keep me away from the lamp cord.

Speaking of shitting the bed.

[34] - Come on!

I don’t really like the way Gardner’s wrist contorted on that catch.

Jones doesn’t get to that. I don’t think Granderson does, either. Not many LF do.

Would you trade Phil Hughes for Francisco Liriano?

Too bad the Yankees don’t have more players like Gardner with more upside than downside. The more I think about it the more I want the Yankees to let go Swisher, Cano and Grandy. Get the draft picks and try to rebuild form those prospects

BTW Arod still hitless against LHP this year.

[59] We saw this coming for Alex, though. He mashed in ST, ergo quota omnibus, this is what we get.

That replay on Gardner gave me a high anxiety flashback to Matsui.

How will the Yankees strand these runners? I call strikeout, ground out.

[58] Would you trade Lincecum for Garcia straight up?

[61] Infield fly and strikeout

Gardner is made of spit, dirt and shoe polish. His wrists don’t break.

I’m gonna call squib to the mound, Jones in a rundown for the third out.

Not sure I like Nunez getting the green light on 3-0.  But I’ll take the run and infield hit.

Now the DP can strand the runners.

[58] Would you trade Lincecum for Garcia straight up?

If Lincecum was signed for this year only, maybe.  But he’s signed for the next two years and a $40M+ commitment for a position that is not one of need for this team strikes me as a bad idea.

[66] It’s part of Nooney’s unpredictability. Smallball !

Just the guy you want at bat in this situation.

When did the AL re-institute pitchers hitting?

Like I said, Stewart is the best.

Still can’t believe Cervelli is down in AAA and the Yanks have a guy who doesn’t know the pitchers and can’t hit at all

Can Stewart play first?

[55] Arrested Development quotes work as well….as does that hit by….whoever that guy is…

Chris Stewart, True Yankee™.

PLAY STEWART EVERYDAY!

dakranker, if you hurry you can edit your post before everyone sees you dogging Stewart.

I love that he’s trying to look like this is nothing unusual for him.

[69] Called that one all the way.

[67] Yeah.  I was also joking about the fact that Lincecum has a 10+ ERA in 13.2 IP over three starts.

Lester pulled in the top of the 3rd. Is he injured?

Still he pitched well. 2k in 2 IP…

Wait, you bring in a lefty to face Jeter?

Probably a homer at Fenway.

Jeter still locked in. There was NO WAY that run was not coming home.

Montero who? We got Stewart.

[67] Yeah.  I was also joking about the fact that Lincecum has a 10+ ERA in 13.2 IP over three starts.

Chien-Ming Lincecum.

Of course, we have CC Wang.

Was wondering why the golf? ad on gameday “classic” had little #3 sinker etc labels - it was because they failed to switch to the game.

Aren’t we about due for a Nun-E?

[81] Nah, but he was near his pitch count and had the bases loaded.

Can Stewart play 1B?

[88] It’s a crack outfit over there at MLB New Media or whatever they’re called.

93 mph.  Who does CC think he is, Boone Logan?

Those Ks are an ominous sign.

I thought Cano got more of that.

Can Jones play first?

Is that clutch, or is that stat-padding?

That ball was hit as high as it was hit far.

With Sabathia pitching, you need every run you can get.

[74] - [4] is a Simpsons quite too.