Just watched warmups, saw cc, colon, and manatee standing together in right field. Swish was taking bearings on the artificial dip. Homefield advantage all sewn up.

[1] With those 3 playing outfield the other team would have to rely on infield hits.

I guess we’re going to have to play a game tonight.  Anyone interested?  I usually do challenging games, so, shot for every hit Colon gives up?  Anyone?  I’ll document my “progress” if I’m not alone.

Wow, dialing it up to 97.  Nice.

Wait, crawford STILL bats 8th?  I thought that was just for a couple of days.

edit: double post.

Pedroia is so fucking irritating.

When are we injecting some of Colon’s ass into Phil Hughes’ shoulder?

It takes a special kind of talent to swing through a FB right over the plate.

Remember when Hughes’ curve was at least that good?

Tex quietly has some nice numbers already. If he heats up during the summer as he traditionally does it’s going to be fun. I’ll apologize now for the lack of a complaint.

Remember when Hughes’ curve was at least that good?  FTFY

Buchholz’s first FIRST 1-2-3 inning of the year. At least Granderson put a scare into him for a second.

[3] TSBG is trying his best to keep you sober.

[14] The bottle is perspiring as we speak.  Even though I’m on my own, I’ll still document my struggle.  Mein Kampf if you will.

Jed “Rake the Rake” Lowrie in to blow this one open!

[15] I would join you but I’m in the middle of making pizza, which is a delicate process.

WOE

Calling double-digit strikeouts for Buccholz tonight.

Is Alex Rodriguez on the verge of collapse?

Is Robinson Cano on the verge of collapse?

Nice AB there, Robbie.

Is RLYW on the verge of collapse?

Three red sox perfect games in a row.  Awesome.

I’m not one to judge, but why wouldn’t you feed Nick more offspeed stuff there?

Here’s where Jorge shows he isn’t cooked.

[17] No good pizza to order in the great state of Texas?

That was some fast-acting jinx, Jonathan.

Three games of no home runs to Posada for the Red Sox!

I really, truly hope Jorge busts out in this series because nobody else on this team is hitting right now (unless you count Jeter’s horseshit game as “hitting right now”)

Or not.  Jeterian.

[28] I guess I got way greedy.

How dare the Red Sox defile this storied rivalry with their batting practice jerseys.

[17] It’s okay.  I’ve got some Noble Pils to occupy me while I wait.  You want Oscar Wilde, W.C. Fields or Dylan Thomas?

Back to WOE

We calling that a hit?

And so it goes
open
close

Shaked, you live in a fraternity house?

Three red sox no hitters in a row.  Awesome.

[36] Lol, what gave you that idea?  But no, no I don’t.

Is Curtis Granderson on the verge of collapse?

[38] I think that’s the only place I’ve ever seen a bottle of jagermeister, outside of bars and liquor stores.

edit: I say this as someone who would happily have a shot with you.

[40] The real question is, am I drinking two for the home run?

edit:  I was originally typing “Should I drink two when he inevitably hits one out,” but apparently there wasn’t much of a negotiation.

Congratulations to Adrian Gonzalez on his game-winning RBI.

Farns it.  I’ll do two.  Might do the Yanks some good.  I’m drinking yours, dred.

[41]  Yes.  But you don’t have to drink at all for multiple run scoring homers, because those don’t count as real hits.

What a clusterfuck. I’m surprised they couldn’t work one of those in yesterday.

Game, set match.

season over

Pretty sure this is going to be a long night
uno
dos

Maybe Buchholz will get arrested for stealing laptops from our locker room between innings.  It’s our only hope.

[49] Outside of this little disaster inning, he’s not pitching too poorly.  Pitch to AGon was awful.  Otherwise, respectable.  Let’s hope for an inning ending GIDP.  It IS TSCC, after all.

Get out the broom.

Always nice to give away runs when you’re getting no hit

It would be like this version of the Yankees to go quietly into the night.

Saltalamacchia now has four times his normal batting average, due to the situation.

Colon is pitching his heart out for the inevitable L.  Feels bad, man.

Now the Yankees can use that momentum to go down 1-2-3 on 12 pitches instead of 9!

Cy Buchholz

Can’t any of these losers hit home runs anymore?

this is…boring

Clay “If I was an actor I would play child molesters” Buccholz now has a 5:1 K:BB in this game, after 23:19 up to this game.

I think we’re beyond WOE; we might actually be dealing with… WWOE.

Can we come up with an anagram for WOEFUL that’s worse that WOE?

Worst Offense Even For Unlucky Losers?

Re ball 1 to Gonzalez: robots…

At least we won’t have to worry about RISP tonight

[64] This is no place for that kind of positive thinking

YESSSSSSS

Russell WOEFULfucking Martin!!!!!

I’ve been trying to figure out a good anagram for “WOEFUL” and now the game is tied, so I suggest everybody spend as much time as possible doing that.

!!!

Woooohoooo!  Runs!

Huh.  The over/ under on our run total was 1

Worst Offense Eternally, Forever, Unbelievably Lousy

TSBG > TSCC

Fact

[72] Nicely done

Worse Offenses Exist? Fah! Unbelievable! Lies!

A la [72]: Worst Offense: Eternal, Forever, Unending, Limitless.  But I’ll stick with [62].

Jeter has found an unbelievable amount of ways to hit into double plays, even if they aren’t called.

God Pedroia is annoying

[77]The old man’s still an artist with a Louisville

I don’t know if he’ll quite make double digits but Buccholz has now tied his season high in K’s.

So, what’s up with Carl Crawford?

You know, you guys aren’t very supportive of the cause.

Hey lads, drinking without me? I’ll try to catch up. Heard Serlings Martino HR call on the way home. Just the best ever.

[83] You in?

Another inning from Bartolo?  Even if not I’m still happy with 2 ER/6 IP.

“Serlings Martino HR call”

What was it?

It’s both funny and tragic at the same time when OTF pretends he has a home.

edit: I forgot he was just an unemployed drunk.  Sorry to say you were homeless too, OTF.  That was classless of me.

Didn’t you read that Heathcott interview?  He’s talking about listening to the game on a hand-crank radio on the way to his truck.

Edit: since when?

GOD he is slow.

Did anyone really think there was a remote chance that they would knock Swisher in?

Remember when Jorge was fast for a catcher?  Damn, I’m getting old.

So what was even the point of starting Colon that inning?

Hi guys, just getting here.  Is anyone available out of the pen or does Colon have to go nine?

Wow, Joe! AWESOME idea putting him back out for the seventh!

Good thing Manatee is unhittable these days.

Guarantee: Joe’s explanation for putting Colon out for the seventh will consist partially/entirely of “giving him a chance to get the win.”

[84] I guess. I have a too cold Lagunitas Imperial Stout warming as I type.
[86] Russell has muscle and the french stuff.
[87] dred, you don’t know me well enough to comment on my epic quest to find a job or a home. This cardboard box is the effen bomb. Chicks dig it muchly.

What was the best case scenario for having Colon in there?  NO WAY does he get through the inning.  So, at best, you’re saving about 10 pitches of Joba.  BUT, would he even use joba for more than an inning?  WHAT WAS THE POINT?!?!

[91] I would bet Jorge does too.

Did Robbie catch some fielding virus from Nunez?

Is it just me, or has Robbie been horrible in the field this season? That’s at least the fifth botched DP he’s had this season. And that’s in just the game I’ve been able to watch. Plus his range “LOOKS” horrible as well.